Never Again
by Celena Winter
Summary: Goku is a child from the sky, falling in love with a man, but due to given circumstances this love was not returned, now after a century he stares back at an image of what used to be the man he loved, however Goku has vowed never to love again.
1. Never Again

**Author's Note**: It is important that you note that in this story I will be using the image of Goku in his original self as the monkey king, not as the human. Hope you enjoy!

**Never again**

"_Shimmering lights… so bright… so right… so perfect." The young man looked up at the stream of light that fell from the sky before he was plumaged into darkness once again._

"_Where am I? How did I get here?" The confused eyes wondered around the darkness; somehow, he could see through the thick curtain of blackness. There was something about his eyes, something in his body that made him glow as a whole, but what?_

_His heart cried out in despair, he felt so lost, so hurt, like his very heart had been ripped out and crushed. He felt the ubiquitous light in his soul diminish as the faceless person walked away, leaving him all alone._

"_Please don't… I need you!" his cry went unheard as he tried and failed to keep himself from dying, "I need you," it was a whisper, a whisper partly because he didn't have the energy anymore and partly because he knew that, even if he had cried out with all of his strength, his voice would not have reached the ears that needed to hear._

"_You promised." He said angrily, "You promised me that you would return…" Unshed tears began to fall, tainting fair cheeks with bloody trails. "You promised!" He shouted but there was only a look of pity that accompanied the rejection from the other person._

"_Never again… I swear… never again."_

"_I am so sorry…"_

-.-

As far as he had remembered, that room had always been sealed. It had been closed to all, and as far as his twenty three years of knowledge allowed him to know, not even the High Priests entered the sacred sanctuary that had been ever-present for the past century or so.

He stood in front of it now, mesmerised as always. The room had been a complete mystery not only to him but to everyone who knew of it; the only presence that knew of its origin and its job was the maker, and they had yet to know who this creator was.

However, to Sanzo, the room was not only a mystery but also an obsession. It was always on his mind, the room and the object that it so securely guarded.

Tonight it was no different, like many other restless nights, he gathered a few winks of sleep before waking up in the middle of the night; everyone would be sound asleep whilst he tossed and turned in his bed wrestling with himself so that he could go back to sleep. After exhausting minutes of pointless fighting, he rose from his bed and walked out of his room to look for something that would kill time and the boredom that accompanied; consequently, his idle thinking distracted him as his feet wondered the dark and cold corridors until they stopped before the very door he could not enter.

He watched it, taking in every detail: every crack, every design, every shade and shadow, every inscription that was engraved into the wall, in an unknown tongue; he took it all in, time and time again, like a mantra.

"Azrael…" his voice was a whisper that maximised ten fold, given that the halls were dead; but this went on unnoticed by the blond as his fingers traced the name given in the inscription, after consistently reading the small inscription he had come to strongly believe that _Azrael_ was a name - how he came to this conclusion was beyond him - as the written scrawl looked the same.

Given that he had come to believe this about the _name_, Sanzo also come to believe that this was either the tomb of Azrael or the worshipping grounds for him or perhaps a temple of sorts… although, the latter seemed a little odd of a conclude, for the room was perfectly locked and no one entered or emerged from there.

Sanzo let his hand slide down the stone door as he semi-traced the patters that kissed the soft marble. His fingers came to rest on a design that made him look back at the _name, _"Azrael...?" He whispered once again, letting the air receive the question that he had sent to the unknown person that plagued his mind. He looked back down at the engraving and took its unique detail.

It was a ring, or perhaps a bracelet or a crown, coated in gold with a simple loop on the centre of it. Large, fine wings, of a shimmering white colour, encased the ring. A red staff run down the centre of the two; the larger, gold sphere that made the top of the staff was between the top of the wings, where they almost met in a kiss; the shaft travelled through the middle of the ring and continued to the bottom point, a smaller gold sphere, where it met the other end of the wings', the delicately slender primary feathers.

-.-

"_It's known that as of a legend, many things can be story bound; many things are not real… however, with this tale, it is unknown whether it is genuine or not, whether it has fiction or if it is all true… there is too much magic and enchantment in it. As we are well aware, there is always a little bit of magic if only you believe, and this person certainly believed… this tale holds different meanings to all individuals, I can only wonder what it means to you?_

_It is said that it began with an angel, an angel that was a little too curious for his own little self's good, he was fascinated with the creatures of the world, he wanted to know why his Father loved them so much, so much that he neglected to see the iniquity that washed them in and out. After much time of waiting, the angel came down from the heavens and he was finally allowed to follow through with his cravings. He began to search; he took his time to examine everything, everyone, their creations, their manners of living, the differences between each other, the things that made them unique and the similarities that made them human. _

_Many fell in love with him, he was an enigma to all; some feared him, true, because they didn't understand him; but most, most loved him because he was very, very unique, very true. It wasn't long until he learned to love too, he had never experienced such things, some say, he had only known one type of love and that love had been pledged to his Father, but now he was experiencing desire, passion, lust, need, all very minimal emotions, rather pointless really at least compared to the love of God, but to him they were complete mysteries, he wanted to know, he wanted to understand them, he wanted to feel them." The elderly man stopped as he looked down at a wide-eyed young blond, purple eyes asking for more._

_The ageing man smiled warmly as he looked up at the cryptic-riddled door before continuing with the story. "The young angel travelled; always having enough time to learn everything that needed to be known, within the year he had learned so much of the world and its creatures, he began to understand what God found ever so fascinating about them all. Yet with all this wonders, with all this findings… it is said the this perfect creature from the sky was feeling rather empty, he looked and searched and experienced and did everything that he could, well everything that fell under the laws of God and that didn't in any ways pull him away from his Father's presence, which is a healthy lot. Still with all the adventures, the young angel could not fill the void that was threatening to fulfil him now. He stopped looking when he met a man, this man was described as the sun to the young angel, his golden locks resembled that of the sun's light and the deep blue eyes resembled that of the ocean's deep colour. The angel was enchanted at once, and before he knew it he fell in love with the man." The dirty blonde lifted his hand into the air making the story teller pause as he tilted his head in question._

"_What are their names?" He pulled his hand back down as he spoke, his small voice carrying down the empty corridor._

"_It is said that the name of the man was Konzen Douji, but it not certain what the name of the angel is. May I continue, or would you like to ask something else?" The soft eyes searched innocent purple eyes as the child shook his head. Komyo nodded before drawing back into the story. "The angel and Konzen became inseparable. The two did everything together, went _

_everywhere together, they were like two sides of a coin, both so close yet so different. The angel was so bright, so outgoing, and so ready to trust and experiment; Konzen was reserved, cold, and hated getting close to people. They lived together for sometime, until Konzen had to go; the angel wanted to go, he wanted to go so badly, but for un-given reasons he could not, so he made Konzen promise that he would return. The blond man did so, with an embrace and a whisper, he promised to return as soon as he could, and in turn the angel promised to wait, to wait as long as he had to. _

"_And so they parted and wait the angel did, he waited for many years, so many years, he waited patiently, with hope still in his heart that Konzen would return, that he would complete his promise." The monk let out a small sigh as he smiled pitifully at the young boy that hung attentively at every word. "The story is unclear from here onwards, it is safe to say that Konzen did indeed fulfil his promise, but there was something else, something dark, something that broke the young angel. However, we will never know, not unless the angel himself clarifies it or if his temple walls will open and uncover some type of scriptures that explains it all._

-.-

Sanzo traced his fingers down the pattern; that story had been related to him and only him, when he was a child. Komyo had told him that he would play a big role in the story and that perhaps, someday he would be able to save the young angel, taking him home to where he belonged. But now, now Sanzo was older and wiser, he knew that playing a role in the angel's life was not possible, the angel was probably back in heaven or perhaps in hiding; but even with this thoughts in mind, the blond couldn't help was wonder what it would be like, what it would be like to know the angel. "Oh well, back to bed." Sanzo pulled his hand back, smiling bitterly as he took one last look at the name on the door. "Goodnight… Tenshi," He breathed out before disappearing into the shadows.

...

Tenshi means angel


	2. Mission

**Chapter One**

**Missions**

Komyo walked into the temple, he looked at the older monk that sat at the top of the altar and bowed in respect, he fell to his knees as he came close enough and resumed with his head vowed, waiting for the older man to speak. He knew why he was there, he knew what was to come and he knew what it all meant, but knowing didn't make it any easier.

"Komyo Sanzo, do you know why you are here?" the voice covered the entire room, it neither boomed nor shouted, it was level and calm yet oozing authority.

"Yes master I know why I am here." Komyo nodded slowly as though not to disturb the air of calm and control that was ever-present.

"Therefore there is nothing further to say, it is time for you to initiate the mission. You have my blessings." The older man nodded his head in approval.

Komyo bowed once again thanking the man before shuffling out of the temple. "Now for the hard part." He whispered wincing inwardly as he bit the inside of his lip.

-.-

Sanzo arose from his bed just before sunrise. He slept long enough to rest his body but no longer than that, his own personal alarm clock, which was deep inside him, woke him up hours before anyone and in that manner he could spend time on his own, although living in the ministry made that easy as each person kept to themselves anyways.

He took his normal route around the empty corridors, his feet taking the familiar cold paths that led him to none other than his fascination. He stood there, once again absorbed in the song of his day; like the sun that daily watched the world; he took in everything that was before him and touched it with his gaze.

"I knew you would be here." The gentle voice was slow, barely audible, but it obtained the attention it required as the blonde turned to look at his father-figure.

"Where else do I have to go?" the voice was cold as purple eyes turned back to the door.

Komyo smiled bitterly as he agreed slowly. "Yes, where else would you go." He looked at the door too as they remained there for some minutes, silence being the most comfortable state they could manage. A young boy walked past, obstructing Sanzo's view for a few seconds, he frowned in irritation before confusion settled in his mind, he tilted his head to the side and looked at Komyo; turning his head to look behind him and into the quad before settling hi eyes on the sky that was a clear blue, sunshine streaming shadows across the large garden as the light was blocked by a variety of objects. "What time is it Komyo-san?" he asked softly realising that he had been standing there for a couple of hours before his father had joined him.

"7.40 in the morning I believe." His voice was not above the usual whisper but it had an air of amusement as he watched the tall blonde out of the corner of his eye.

"Oh." Was the most that the blonde said as he looked back at the inscriptions, he took it in again and again, like a breathless whisper in the wind that would not cease to come. They stood there for a few more moments before the silence was broken once again, but this time by Sanzo himself as he pulled his eyes away from 'Azrael' and fixed them on his father figure "Why are you here? Is something wrong?"

Komyo met the cold purple eyes; a bitter smile crossed his aged face, his own eyes clouded over with sadness as they lowered to the ground, guilt written on the simple gesture. He looked up to the inscription that Sanzo had been reading moments earlier, before he began to recite, what seemed to be a poem. "Do you remember when I told you about the angel that came down from the sky to learn about the world's creatures, only to find himself in love with a man… do you recall when I told you that Konzen left but not without promising to return… do you evoke that nothing is known of what happened to that angel." The words although calm and sweet, send a chill down Sanzo's back as he listened and nodded to the questions that left Komyo's lips. "How about when I told you that you would play a role in this angel's life, did you keep that in mind?" Sanzo froze, mentally he scowled himself for doing so; logically he could not play a part in Arzael's life but nonetheless the words of the old man made his blood run cold.

"Yes, I remember when you told me such a tale, but I am old enough now to know that it will not happen, what ever happened to the angel, it has nothing to do with me, he has probably returned to heaven by now. It was a hundred years ago after all." He breathed out, he needed to make the old man believe it but most importantly he had to make himself believe it, he needed to, he had to.

"That could be so, yes, it does seem likely, but for some unexplained reason I do not believe it so. I have a distinctive feeling that tells me that you have role to play in that angel's life and it all begins here…" his hand reached out suddenly, spreading delicately across the air to indicate the impregnable temple. Sanzo shook his head; he looked away from the pale hand and refused to look at the temple that had captivated him for so long. He didn't need this, he didn't want it, false hope of an angel that may not even exits, never existed; it was just a bedtime story… right? "I'll meet you here tonight… midnight." Komyo turned away and began to walk from the blonde before said man could argue, Sanzo turned to look at his guardian, his eyes narrowing out in anger as he opened his mouth to speak, "by the way, today is the anniversary of the temple, it was created exactly 100 years of ago." Komyo had turned his head to look over his shoulder speaking just in time to keep a sound from leaving Sanzo's lips. His eyes were downcast, his jaw firm but the air around him was filled with unspoken sorrow and pity, mostly directed to the man he had raised from such a young age, all he could hope for now was that, what ever the outcome, Sanzo could still be free, and that his heart would not be broken... too much.

-.-

_**Hey people, I really need to apologise for this chapter. I haven't been able to pass this last paragraph and I really wanted to make the chapter longer, it is an awful writer's block that I've been trying to get past but the next words just don't fall well.**_

_**I am very sorry.**_

_**Buni**_


End file.
